Elissa Alva 10/3/24 Elissa Alva 10/3/24

JOY, ADVENTURES, AND BALANCE

I have always desired to live a joyful and adventurous life. So far I think I have been successful in experiencing that - thankfully!
I will tell ya, I have surely gotten really good at improvising and creating out of nothing. I actually really really enjoy this!
It turns on a lot of curiosity, play and problem solving for me.

On the other end of that joyful and adventurous lifestyle is creating the financial stability to create those joyful and adventurous opportunities.
Lately, its just been quick random morning or mid day adventures I can enjoy before my daughter is out of school.
I'm not complaining, I will take what I am able to get at the moment.
(I do desire more, but I know that requires a new direction and more creativity on my end. I will get there, I know it.)

Lately, I needed to face the source of my unhappiness:

1. Allowing myself to be distracted by people or situations that do not truly value my energy or see my value.

2. Overworking and dedicating my focus to things that don't matter.

I am really working on releasing these invisible forces and restrictions that tell me I am not doing enough for my business, for my family, for any responsibilities I am tied to.

Its so easy to get sucked into "GO MODE" & building mode.
Why? Because its feels like the responsible thing to do. It felt like that is where people most recognized my strengths and abilities.

But that consistent go, go, go and build mode is just not correct for my design!
I could feel some invisible external pressures of others leaning on and depending on me to be successful in their definition.
Its so weird to me now, how could I achieve what and how others want me to when, when they had never experienced my path and journey for themselves?
How could they tell me I need to put in more hours to be "successful"?
Truly a situation of the blind leading the blind.
So, now i choose to give myself the permission to DO THINGS MY OWN WAY.

Its scary to because i do fear being misunderstood and repelling people in my life right now or losing more of my followers. However, thats an indicator i must accept as space being made for the correct people and communities to come into my world so the party can really begin!

I am learning to trust that I am creating a new world for myself - consisting of people who truly see me, my strengths, and also KNOW I need the time to unplug in order to let the creative energy build. Allowing me to come back stronger with vision and direction to achieve what we set our hearts on!

Elissa Alva 10/1/24 Elissa Alva 10/1/24

PATTERNS DO REPEAT: EVER GROWING, EVER EVOLVING

During some scrolling on social media, I came across a video talking about how experiences from 2014-2015 might be repeating—only this time, we have the opportunity to approach them with more wisdom and experience. Curious, I had to go through my phone’s photos to remember where I was and what I was doing during that period. Here’s what I found:

I was still pursuing a career in Law Enforcement.
I had just wrapped up a course and earned a certificate specializing with the DOJ. This was supposed to be my ticket to employment. I kept applying to multiple agencies, but I was repeatedly denied.
My mentor at the police department suggested I “put time in between” school and applying, but I wasn’t willing to wait indefinitely. If I wasn’t being hired due to my age or lack of “paid experience,” I wasn’t going to just sit around as an unpaid intern. I had bills to pay and a son to support.

So, I made the difficult decision to put Law Enforcement on hold and made the craziest pivot—I went back to school. This time, for Cosmetology.

Going back to school was no easy feat. It required sacrifices on every level. I had to leave my son in Sacramento for a month with Marvin while I stayed with my aunts in Milpitas and Concord, just to get started with school, find a part-time job, and eventually secure a new home in Alameda.

September 2014.
Phew, I forgot just how painful that first month of school was! We lived in different cities and seeing each other was difficult with custody arrangements. This day, he came to visit me as my “Hair color model”
I remember it feeling really hard to say goodbye after that appointment.

While in Cosmetology school, I received a "Beauty Changes Lives" scholarship, which helped ease some of the financial burden. This scholarship was confirmation that I had made the right decision—turning down a stable job in law enforcement to follow my passion.

Since 2014, up until recently, I’ve been trying to fit myself into boxes so others could understand me. One day, during a break in cosmetology class, a classmate asked me, "What are you? What do you do? Why do you have a following?" Her questions stuck with me because I didn’t have a simple answer. With social media shifting to niche-driven content, I struggled to define myself. How could I explain that I was just… me, sharing my journey through life?

Now, I’ve come full circle. I’ve lived through enough experiences to confidently share my observations, perspectives, and guidance with others. I know my purpose: to help guide others into discovering their identity and aligning with their heart's desires.

Presently, in 2024 I’ve hired a mentor to help me see myself more clearly, just as I strive to help others. I’ve also enrolled in a program where I will learn how to guide and support others professionally. Yes, you read that right—I’m going back to school! It’s funny because if you’ve followed my journey, you know I’m always pivoting, learning new systems, and exploring different modalities. I often say I’ve lived many lives in this lifetime, and it’s true—it’s all been in service of my role as a guide to ambitious leaders seeking insight and wisdom.

September 2024.
This photo was shortly following me enrolling in the Fall 2024 - 2025 program.
A moment of gratitude, to know I we are have all that we need. Maybe all that we want, will come later.

With this new opportunity mirroring experiences from 2014-2015, I’m now focusing on structured ways to lead both myself and others through life’s journey. Do I need to invest in this program? Maybe not. I could start guiding people right now, based on the years of knowledge I’ve accumulated through energy healing, biotypes, human design, astrology, numerology, and more. But I know this program will give me the structure, confidence, and nationally recognized certification to take my work to the next level.

In summary, here’s what I expect from this new phase of life:

Dedication to continued learning and education.
Evolving into yet another version of myself.

This time, I will create better balance and routines to support my physical, mental, and emotional health. Time with my family will NOT be sacrificed. I will lean into my strengths and stand in my power. I will ask for help and lean on loved ones when needed. And I will not let others’ doubts shake my confidence in my vision.

I know this phase is all about preparing myself to hold a greater capacity to support those around me.

Elissa Alva 9/30/24 Elissa Alva 9/30/24

SEEING BEYOND SURFACE TRUTHS

I am not naive, I am compassionate.
I will not call you out when i see the discrepancies in your stories.

I may come off easy to fool,
but behind my eyes i am piecing together the core beliefs you created to convince yourself and others of who you are.

I see the parts of you that need love.
I see the parts of you that you aren’t even aware of.

I know your funky energy, half truths, and exaggerated truths are not personally directed to be deceptive.

Regardless, your words and actions are just data being collected for me.

Elissa Alva 9/17/24 Elissa Alva 9/17/24

MOON FESTIVAL

Happy Full Moon & Lunar Eclipse!

I love this time of year.

The Moon Festival is celebration of abundance, connection, sharing and exchanging gifts and food.
Moon cakes are are the traditional gifts to offer to friends and loved ones. They are so dense and very sweet and salt (depending on the filling you get inside) definitely meant for sharing with others!

Its the one full moon that is recognized by my Chinese side.
I recognize and celebrate the full moons every month, but to celebrate ONE with my family just feels confirming to my personal rituals as I honor the moon phases.

The energy of the moon was so strong last night. I stayed up til 3am studying.
At 4:30am I was up again. I tossed and turned for about an hour before i just got up and started working again. I felt called to connect with the wellness group and share some resources and personalized astrology insights.

After the kids went to school, I hopped on a call with my Mentor did some brainstorming. Glad to know she was also feeling the buzzing energy. The conversation and exchange was uplifting and motivating. I’m excited to get back to work!

Later today, we were generously gifted a box of moon cakes from my son’s friend’s family.
It was so unexpected and heart warming to receive. Feeling so grateful for new connections and new experiences today!

This filling was a new one for me, Wintermelon and macadamia nuts. I really liked the texture of these. Yum!
Traditionally, i am used to my family sharing white lotus and double yolks, a salty sweet combo.
This year, after going to the bakeries to purchase gifts for others, i learned that the filling options for moon cakes can get really creative.

Following the call , i gift wrapped up moon cakes to deliver to my Chinese grandma & a few super cute mini moon cakes to the studio.

I was actually surprised by my grandma’s positive reaction to me coming over in the morning and being so open to receiving. Usually, tells me I need to go back to work. How much she worries about me and my finances. She saved the spiel and it was nice to just enjoy some time with her.

When I visit, I have always I loved walking around her back yard and front yard to see her fruit trees and plants growing. She has always been so good at caring for them all. One of my favorites is her Jujube tree.
I have years of memories of her (and sometimes her friends over) harvesting them and setting them up to sun dry, and get them prepared to package up and share with friends and family so that they could add them to soups, teas, and medicinal remedies.

It made me a little sad to hear that she didn’t have the energy or interest to harvest them anymore and actually wanted to cut the tree to half its size. Shook me a little, its the last thing from my childhood that she still tends to. She gave up gardening and growing her own vegetables a few years ago.

The knowing, just stings. You know?

Reminder: Enjoy the moments. The big ones, the small ones. All of them.

Elissa Alva 9/11/24 Elissa Alva 9/11/24

A NEW NORM

Things aren’t working as I had hoped and planned for.
But as we all know by now… everything happens for a reason.

My presence at the studio will be decreasing, as I am being called to step back into Mama-Mode.
What I am able to do during school hours is all I get to do what I need to at the studio.
Its very very uncomfortable to be away, but with no support of family to assist with child care or financial support. We will do what we gotta do.

As much discomfort as I feel with this new assignment, I believe this is a second chance at being a better Mom than i have been these past few years. A chance before my Son goes to college and my daughter is too cool for me (through experience I know this is a definitely a thing around 8-9 years old).

…why do i feel this way you might be wondering?

In 2018, we moved back to Sacramento so i could pursue my career in Law Enforcement. It was bittersweet, my daughter was just a few days shy of turning one year old when I signed my offer letter.
I didn’t want to just let my cosmetology license go to waste, so I rented a chair part time on the weekends to do hair and build a clientele in Sacramento.
I was working a full time job + a part time one. Exhausted and burned out was an understatement.

As I worked at the Police Department, I was building up ARAI STUDIO with each pay check.
I had my foot in both careers for 3 years, before I chose peace and respect over the comfort of financial stability. I went all in on ARAI STUDIO. Since 2018, I have been a horrible mother. Unrecognizable.
The version of me my Son got was not the same Mom my daughter got.
My Son got the super involved, excited, fun and affectionate Mom.
My daughter wasn’t getting much of me, just an empty shell.

I have been so absent. Its disgusting. When i felt like i was failing i would fight even harder to regain my footing. I have missed out on so many loving memories with my kids.

I have been so distracted trying to create success for them.
I just wanted to give them a leg up in life, you know?

I wanted to create access to assets, resources, comfort, and stability to enjoy when i am no longer with them.

I am still not giving up on that dream, but i will be changing up my approach.

For now, I will embrace this opportunity to pick up my daughter from school and enjoy after school homework dates with them, participate in school activities that call for a parent’s attendance, and maybe even enjoy cooking meals for them again.

Cheers! May we expand in love and cherish these opportunities to create beautiful memories with my babes!

Elissa Alva 9/4/24 Elissa Alva 9/4/24

EMBRACING MY VOICE + POWER IN 2024

Since 2012, I have allowed myself to be muted for the sake of peace and what i perceived to support the safety of the future for my son and I.

Its where the sparkle began to die. I know it. I can remember the moment and it still haunts me.
I knew no one was going to save us or support us.
I went into quiet mode or mute. Once known to be bold and outspoken, I shut the fuck up.
I shut the fuck up in fear that my words would be used against me. I acted right, in fear any of my actions and choices would be used against me in family law court and as I was seeking employment within the field of Criminal Justice.

I told myself I was not going to give anyone any reason to use against me in court or during the a hiring process. I only accepted shifts serving during lunch hours even though the customers were more rude and far from generous (oh, the many stories to share life as a restaurant server is insane). I asked Marvin to delete videos of my birthday parties and any adventures that would look irresponsible in the slightest, I deactivated my first blog I built on wordpress, I remember even avoiding speeding or going into a carpool lane during heavy bay area traffic, because I wanted to be seen as responsible, reliable, honest, and law abiding. I slowed down with accepting modeling opportunities, I stopped sharing, I started hiding.

After 12 years, its safe to say that majority of that did matter. However, how rigid and focused I became is misaligned with my core essence. Even when i hit my bench marks of what success meant to me, i didn’t appreciate it because i would tell myself “what took you so long to get here? This is overdue and nothing to celebrate. Keep going.”

I have been so un happy and bitter. I killed the fun, curious, and playful parts of me.
In these years, I lived in fear and shame. I let the decisions of others make me feel and believe I was a bad person for not being chosen in some way(s).
Now that I look back, why would they?
My energy probably came off weird or confusing.
I was trying to be what they wanted me to be all while keeping my walls up to keep us all safe.
Present day, the idea of forcing myself to fit in places I am not seen or recognized is just crazy to me.
Ugh! I wish i could just hug and squeeze the younger versions of myself.

2024 in numerology is the year of karma…and I have been seeing it getting served up on gold platters to those who did wrong to me in some way. I will save this for another post though.
The topic of Karma is a big one to unpack.

2024 is also the year of the Dragon in the Chinese Zodiac. Its my year. It occurs every 12 years and I see each return to be highly transformative. At 11-12 years old I learned I was on my own in this world I was gonna need to be my own parent, 23-24 years old I decided to play by the rules to the extreme to obtain what my son and I needed to thrive, and now at 35 (soon to be 36) I am choosing to embrace and approach these next 12 years unapologetically.
Being around this long I carry with me quite a bit of varying experiences and knowing.

I learned the rules and now I am ready to play the game.

side note: I am competitive as fuck, so this game and experience of life is about to get a lot more interesting and fun!